reymej

it’s crazy how you have this effect on me. i would describe myself as a pretty level-headed person, but you make me feel insane. i feel ecstatic, everything you say is hilarious and spot on. you can’t displease me. even if you are an asshole. i don’t know if this is a good thing. but you make me feel really good. and i want to tell you. even if things don’t go anywhere i want for it to be decided between us that it’s the best decision. i just don’t want to wonder about what could have been. i already am and it’s not even in the past yet. oh god. i just need to be more forward about it. you just make me feel very timid. i don’t normally feel this way, in the way that you just want to say the perfect thing always. and that leaves me saying nothing mostly. i just feel pressure to be as funny and good as you are. it makes me want to be better and i know that’s positive. i feel like i have a good effect on you as well, possibly. i feel that you feel similarly when we make eye contact. but you’re still so hard to read and i know i am too. so we don’t do anything. why not? i want to do something about it. i want to open mouth kiss you. i can’t, though because we haven’t established our grounds yet. or we need to reestablish them because it’s been quite a while since winter, things have changed. i missed you and i thought about you everyday. not really longing for you, just wondering how you are and things. it’s kind of silly i think but i don’t know. now that you’re here that feeling sweeps me up again. and it’s nice. i really don’t mind it. it’s ecstasy! but how long will this feeling last? it’s hard to tell because in the moment it seems like forever. like babes let’s just run away and be together forever. it never lasts though. but why focus on this now? i don’t want to be over rational about it. i want to feel it through. i want to sit and chat with you and laugh and just lie in bed all day sometimes and still have our friends. it’s nice having the same friends. well it also puts it into a different context, our relationship. having it be an item of interest or something is really strange but i think that i’d rather be with you and have it be strange then not to be with you at all. i think i can understand you if i try. you interest me, everyone else is boring and easy to understand. you are not. you are mysterious and vague but at the same time you are so upfront about things and charismatic. i think i just need to tell you though. whatever i just need to know. now. why am i so impatient about this? i feel so under pressure of time and timing. i just want everything to work out. i don’t want it to be perfect, i don’t need it to be. but i do really want you. for all your perfections and flaws. i guess i’m slightly afraid of being rejected. i would be really sad, i think. and it would make things a bit awkward for a bit. but i also think that there’s a good possibility of us working something out that we get to be together. it would be cool if you were my boyfriend. it would be cool if we just kept it casual, it would be all right if we decided to be friends. but i really just want to decide. i’m so anxious about it. why? because i’m worried about pussying out. i really don’t want to do that. i don’t want to be the coward, i want to be courageous about it. i want to take control of the situation instead of always waiting for the situation to turn out it my favour. i’m lazy about it. i need to stop that, it’s terrible. i’ll never get what i want this way. and i want you and it’s worth acting on. okay, so it’s decided. i’ll talk to you about it and we’ll figure it out. it hasn’t even been a week! no rush. just acknowledge it and discuss. don’t say anything too stupid. just be honest. and not crazy. okay, be half honest. if i were to be totally honest, it would probably come out so creepy obsessive loser. but who knows. what i do. i have been on both sides of full expression and neither are pleasant. i would not want to subject anyone to that awkwardness. but oh my god, thinking of the time we laid in the park and kissed all afternoon makes my heard flutter. how queer is that? but it does. i just feel like a dumb cliche. love. or lust. whatever. i don’t need to define it, it is what it is and it’s making me crazy!! you make me think babe and i like that about you. really appreciate your presence in my life. thanks i guess? i don’t know what i’m saying anymore. i got out a lot at least. you’re super cute and i just think you’re the best! whatever, we’ll talk tomorrow, no biggie

gray

i like you because of the way the corners of your mouth curl on either side of your pouty lips that fit so perfectly with mine

i like you because of how much you love dogs and how excited you get every time you see one

i like you because you’re so honest, and in a way that is never cruel

i like you because of the way your stomach feels on my cheeks and that patch of hair in the middle of your chest

i like you because you’re sassy

i like you because you’re weird like me

i like you because you have a good relationship with your mom

i like you because you have a good judge of character and because you make me want to be a better person so that i can stay within what you judge as good

i like you because of your exasperated sigh when you’re stressed

i like you because of your many facial expressions, they are all distinct and dramatic and adorable

i like you because you use two toothbrushes, one electric and one that isn’t electric

i like you because you are vain but not smug

i like you because you take forever to get ready

i like you because of the small of your back, how smooth it is and how it shows when your shirt rides up when you’re bent over

i like you because you like vodka and we can split two sixes of absolute when we go out drinking

i like you because you smoke a lot of pot without seeming like a stoner

i like you because of how well my head fits between your shoulder blades when we cuddle

i like you because you’re my little spoon

i like you because you’re usually right

i like you because of your childlike smile that shows the slight space you have between your two front teeth

i like you because sometimes you share things with me that make me feel like i can understand the way you see the world

i like you because of your cheeks, eyelashes, shoulders and your cute little bum

i like you because i feel like i won’t ever stop discovering new things i like about you